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BEST DIVOICE LETTER EVER !!!!
Started by Asbo Mick. Last reply by Nancy Jun 27, 2013. 3 Replies 0 Likes
The Best Divorce Letter, ever!FIRST LETTER:My Dear husband:I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you..I've been a good wife to you for the last 20 years &I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weekshave been hell. Your boss called to tell me thatyou left your job today which was the last straw.Last week, you came home & you didn't evennotice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked yourfavourite meal & even wore a brand new nightie.You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleepafter watching your TV soaps.You don't tell me you love me any more; youdon't want sex or anything that connects usas husband & wife. Either you're cheating onme or you don't love me any more; whateverthe case, I'm gone.Your EX-Wife.Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I aremoving to New Zealand together! Have a great life!REPLY:Dear Ex-wife,Nothing has made my day more than receivingyour letter. It's true you & I have been married for20 years, although a good woman is a far cryfrom what you've been. I watch TV soaps so muchbecause they drown out your constant whining& *****ing. Too bad that doesn't work any more..I DID notice when you got a hair do last week, butthe 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look justlike a boy!'Since my father raised me not to sayanything, if you can't say something nice, I didn'tcomment......and when you cooked my favourite meal,you must have got me confused with MY BROTHERbecause I haven't eaten prawns for 7 years.About the new nightie: I turned away from you becausethe $299.99 price tag was still on it, & I prayed it was acoincidence that my brother had just borrowed $300from me that morning.After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work itout. So when I won the $20 million Lotto, on Saturday,I left my job & bought 2 tickets for us to Paris , but whenI got home you were gone. Everything happens for areason, I guess.I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.My lawyer said that the…Continue
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Comment by wildplum on June 24, 2013 at 8:12am
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Comment by T.J. Hawk III on June 24, 2013 at 1:55am
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Comment by Asbo Mick on June 23, 2013 at 8:24pm
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The Legend of The Mirror
Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the Ladies Room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish. However, if one tells a lie -
-- you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.
Sooooo, a redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world."
Next, a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the sexiest woman alive."
Then an absolutely gorgeous blonde comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think...."
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Comment by Nancy on June 22, 2013 at 11:32pm
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ROFLMBO!!! That's too funny!!!
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Comment by T.J. Hawk I on June 22, 2013 at 11:18pm
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